Cancer diagnosed - her last weeks

Wed 14 Nov 2007 08:00pm - Some glimmer of hope

It was a busy day for Gillian today. She had many calls and visits from you and this made her feel very special.

Her room in the hospital is very nice. It has a great view south towards Black Mountain (with the monstrous new intersection for the Gungahlin express splitting the gum tree panorama - unfortunately).

Gillian's appetite improved today, although hospital food isn't too inspiring. We've smuggled in some nice fresh fruit and left overs. A request for Amy's Chinese inspired soups will be delivered soon.

Today Gillian had a CT scan to investigate the problem more thoroughly. One of the doctors is also checking for the possibility that Gillian may have lymphoma instead of pancreatic carcinoma. This would be a much better outcome because this is more treatable using radiation/chemotherapy. The CT scan should be able to give a better look at the pancreas and the lymph nodes and check if it has spread or not. According to our research, if it is the pancreas, there is not a great deal that can be done and radiation therapy is not effective, removal could cause more problems. Not sure of the percentages here, so we can only wait and see. Doctors also plan to inject the tumour and take a sample.

We'll post the results as soon as we know. Many fingers crossed.

As for pain, Gillian received a new patch attached to her chest which releases controlled doses of pain relief.

Lastly, thank you all for you kind messages by email, the guestbook and phone call. She has such good friends and she really loves you all.

Thu 15 Nov 2007 11:55am - rest day

Gillian is a bit tired today. She was overwhelmed with all your calls yesterday and is very very grateful that so many people care.

Fri 16 Nov 2007 12:00am - news we didn't want

Sadly the doctors have confirmed the worst. Gillian has pancreatic cancer which is inoperable. The will attempt to 'zap' the area, but this is a measure to relieve symptoms and prolong life. No cure is currently available.

Let me say how proud I am of Gillian. I am possibly in a state of denial because of her external good health and her extremely positive attitude. She is really taking things well and does not want this to get her down.

A palliative care doctor saw her Thursday afternoon to discuss the future. Eating well, taking care and remaining positive can give her the best chance to extend her life.

She was allowed to come home and is staying in Canberra with us. She will return to Binalong on the weekend. She wants to remain independent, with some assistance and will make a Canberra a more permanent residence when the time is right.

She is determined to make it to her granddaughters 1st birthday. And making that, her next goal is Lila's 5th birthday. Nevertheless, I think it would be great if you can see her over the next few months because we just don't know.

Lets keep her strong.

Sun 18 Nov 2007 01:30pm - back in Binalong

Gillian is doing ok. Sometimes in a bit of pain but it can be managed with a special patch. She's eating ok, although in small amounts.

She spent a few good days relaxing in Canberra, taking it easy (good) and spending some time with her granddaughter. She's also become very proficient in text messaging on her new mobile, so send her a msg here and there. When she's in Binalong, it might take a few days to get back to you (until she's in a area with reception).

She has now returned to Binalong and Leonie will keep an eye on her.

Gillian again sends her many thanks to all of you who have contacted her in many ways: calls, emails, texts, guestbook entries, cards, etc.

Gillian should be back in Canberra on Wednesday.

Radiation treatment should begin at the end of November.

Wed 21 Nov 2007 09:00pm - staying in Binalong for now

Gillian would again like to thank you all for messages. When things have settled down and she has more energy, she intends to write to you.

Gillian had a really bad day and night on Sunday, but has been ok since then. She's decided to stay in Binalong where she is more comfortable and can relax and meditate.

Tue 27 Nov 2007 03:30pm - Oncologist consultation

Gillian saw the oncologist team at Canberra Hospital today.

This is the plan, as best I can understand it.

Gillian will start chemotherapy around xmas time. It will go for 6 months, once a week visits to Calvary Hospital. This is to retard growth of the tumour as much as they can, although they can't kill it off, to reduce pain, increase energy levels and appetite, and most importantly, extend her life for 1-2 years.

They also plan to take a biopsy on Thursday to determine which type of pancreatic cancer it is, so they can get the treatment right. They expect it to be the most common type. Results next Tuesday. And they said she won't lose her hair.

So the next month and a bit will be tough. She is experiencing a 3 day cycle of pain. It's fine when she puts on a new patch (today) but by the 3rd day, she is in a lot of pain. Poor thing wasn't good last night. The medical team will also look at pain management. So over xmas she will probably hit a low, as the treatment will make her quite fatigued, which she is now also. But after that, she expects things to improve.

I'll keep you informed as we know more.

PS. Once again thanks for the cards & well wishes. Fiona and Suellen, I gave her your packages last night when she stayed. She said that was very kind of you for thinking of her.

Tue 04 Dec 2007 12:30pm - biopsy results today

Gillian is in Canberra today to get the biopsy results, so they can determine which type of cancer it is and get started on specific treatment.

She's continuing with up and down days. Sometimes feeling ok, but quite a lot of the time feeling tired, sore, nauseous and a lack of appetite. We are just concerned she isn't getting enough food down. She can only manage small amounts when the mood suits. It seems they might be able to drain some fluids trapped in her stomach that is causing discomfort.

I've read all of the guestbook comments to her and she is very touched.

Wed 05 Dec 2007 02:30pm - chemo this Friday

The biopsy confirmed that Gillian has the main pancreatic cancer. She will start chemotherapy on Friday, all day. She will have follow ups on Mondays from 17 December.

Yesterday was a bit distressing for Gillian. Long day. Not feeling well. Many tears. Understandably the weight of it all a bit too much. Will be lots of depressing times amongst her brave positive periods.

Her good friend Fling from Young stayed last night and helped out. Lovely lady. And Leonie is always there, taking her back and forth to Canberra, and handling the grumpier moments in her stride. Couldn't do without her.

Fri 07 Dec 2007 08:30pm - staying in Canberra for a week

Gillian had the Chemo today. It mainly consisted of being on a drip most of the day to put the chemicals in her body. During this they found a clot in her arm, which is not good, but found early enough before anything bad happened. She is now on more medication to thin the blood. Apparently this is common. She's a bit horrified with all the medication she's got to take.

This means she will stay in Canberra with Julian, Amy and Lila for a week. She will receive daily home visits by Calvary's 'At Home' team, to check her blood consistency and administer an injection (for blood thinning - the medication takes 5 days to kick in) and monitor how she's going.

Poor dear looks more gaunt. A bit of a worry. She had a light meal after arriving home, but was just sick as I was writing... Ok now, but hope some food can stay down to keep her resources up. When she's back in Binalong, we might need all the help we can get to keep her eating until this period is improved and strength is regained.

Still, she's remarkably positive for what she's going through. Lila of course give her great pleasure.

Sun 09 Dec 2007 11:30pm - situation not good

The situation is not good. The nausea side effect of the chemo is proving too much and Gillian has not been able to keep food or fluids down since the treatment.

We called the duty nurse this afternoon to possibly give her another injection for the nausea. However, when he arrived, he advised that it was best she go back with him to Calvary Hospital to stay overnight and get some fluids into her intravenously.

Gillian is so emaciated that she just cannot afford to lose more weight. I really fear that this battle is going to be too much for her. We want to be positive but it's really not looking good for our poor dear. Many fingers crossed that she can break out of this nauseated cycle and get some strength back.

Mon 10 Dec 2007 11:30pm - staying in hospital

After a terrible day yesterday, Gilly has benefited from her stay in hospital, receiving some welcome fluids via the drip. Breakfast managed to stay down, but lunch not so successful. The oncologist came by and said she's had a bad reaction to the chemo. They will change the dose next time.

Gillian is now in Calvary Public ward 5W, room 1. I popped in after work and she looks improved, but still very weak and tired, and still suffering nausea. It's hard for her to chat too long without nausea taking control.

We're expecting her to stay for a bit longer in hospital, which would be good, to ensure medication and fluids, food etc are being absorbed.

I know some of you want to stay and look after her, but there's not much we can do until she's more stable. Short visits are welcome. Send plenty of texts to keep her spirits up (but please don't feel bad if she doesn't reply as she too fatigued to work the phone much).

Keep those positive thoughts for us and thanks for the emails.

Thu 13 Dec 2007 00:30am - outlook grim

The last few days have been up and down. Gillian has been a bit more perky at times, but otherwise quite ill and fatigued. The drip has certainly helped, but food just won't stay down for long. She continues to be sick.

I found the doctor looking after her yesterday and asked her about the nausea situation and nutrition. The drip is only providing hydration, but no nutrients. Some nutrients from the food will make it into her system before she brings it back up. But I am shocked that this is all they can do. Surely they could give her something else, but it appears not. A line direct into her stomach will still end up being brought up. They don't seem to have anything that can go direct into the blood stream.

The doctor was of the belief this condition is as much the cancer as it is the reaction to chemo. She said there was a lot of tumours inside and this is probably causing the problems. This was new to me because I haven't heard about the extent of the cancer.

The doctor suggested we to speak to the oncologist to get more information. We called her in the afternoon but she would not give us any specific information. This amazed Amy (who is from China). There is no such thing over there of the ultra privacy in one's own family. Nevertheless, she was nice and we've arranged to discuss the situation together when she's due to see Gillian next monday. She did, however, say we needed now to have a serious discussion about things.

This is not good.

I will confirm of course, but my feeling is that my dear mum does not have a lot of time left. She really is going through a tough time. Although she is fatigued easily, I think if you want to see her before the worst happens, you should do it sooner rather than later.

This morning she will undergo a procedure. She was nil by mouth from mid night. Not sure what this is for (she didn't really know - too tired to ask a lot of questions). I think it is to alleviate the pressure on her stomach. Her poor tum is rock hard with fluids.

On a nicer note. Amy's Chinese parents sent Gill a lovely letter, which Amy translated very well. I read it to her in the morning, on the way to work, and it proved very emotional for us. It unlocked my emotions and broke through the defences I had established. What ever the outcome may be, I am so glad I still had and have the opportunity to say I love her very much and tell her what a wonderful respectful mother she has been to me. I have posted the letter on the guestbook.

Ok, sorry to be sounding negative, but I'm being realistic. Mum's really hanging in there and being positive. Such a brave face. It's all happening so fast.

Many thanks to the wonderful flowers that have been sent. She loves them.

Fri 14 Dec 2007 10:30am - Improvement again

The rollercoaster continues. Gillo looked really good last night and better still this morning.

The 'procedure' never eventuated. Maybe miscommunication. But she was supposed to have some x-rays, but they were too busy. However, they have changed her medication and this seems to have had a positive effect.

Gillian wolfed down her dinner last night (6.30pm) and has been able to eat a lot more. She was still sick about midnight, but that's a lot better. She's gone from being sick 5 times a day to 2.

Saturday night was good. She enjoyed the home cooking (smoked trout, minted egg and potato salad and fresh cucumber from the garden) and was not sick. Sunday morning consisted of a small portion of a cheese/ham crossaint and then tucked into her current favourite from the hospital, nutra-grain (iron-mann food).Unfortunately, lunch was brought back up after an intrusive visit from a community nurse who tired out Gillian with a 2 hour visit, going over everything again and making her fill out the same &*#^ forms. Gill became quite stressed and then was quick sick afterwards.

Currently she's resting again after having some time with her granddaughter.

To make her return welcome, we bought her some nice new sheets and covers, as seen in the pic below as she was about to have a granny nap before dinner ;-)